Back and Ready for action

I took quite a bit of time away from this blog, but I am back and ready to make this a place to come for real life mommy adventures, natural recipes, life hacks, and just weird hilarious moments from my life.

So welcome!!
Let me know how you like the new look!

Adventures of living with Grandma {an introduction}

So, my grandma has been through a lot in the past two years, losing her husband, father, and daughter all within a 10 month period, living a year with no health insurance, having her house foreclosed, and having to move and downsize to a smaller apartment. Only to end up living with her grandaughter (me) in a small bedroom surrounded by energetic stinky boys. Although this post started out depressing, this series of posts are about all the crazy things she says and does, while living with me, enjoy!

Talking about the new study claiming that thigh gaps have nothing to do with weight, but how close togther a womens pelvis is, which directly correlates with how tight or loose, a womens vagina is.

Me: well this study basically says if you have a thigh gap your pelvis is farther apart and therefore your vagina is looser.

Grandma: Well, I must have one really tight vagina then.

Me: Wow.

Sincerely,

Stay at home bitch

Accessory Tree fit for a Princess

Head on Over to Sowdering about in Seattle to check out our guest post on how to make this adorable Accessory tree!

Love,
The Stay at Home Bitch

How To Do a {Picture Wall}

Hello my beautiful bitches! That would Stay at home bitches ;) I thought today i would impart some picture wall wisdom on you. I have a had quite a few picture walls in my time, I love how they look, most of all they make a statement and depending on how you do it, it can be a BIG one. When we moved into this house I knew I wanted to dod a picture wall on the biggest tallest wall in the house, and I did. It started out smallish, only ----- frames, and the words. I cut Cooper&CO with my cricut from a roll of flat black vinyl and Voila!

That was few a years ago,and It needed spruced up! So I drew out a plan, I do this quite often to so get used to it!

I like to do a sketch plan like this, it helps get the pictures up where they need to be the first time, it basically eliminates trial and error because that happens on paper and not with a million holes in the wall. Yes, yes it's because much marital upset could be avoided by drawing some squiggly lines on a piece of paper. your welcome. Okay next step is get a ladder and get to it, or in my case rope your husband into doing you a tiny favor (yes I know I'm evil) and let him be miserable for about 20 minutes, simple as that!

Your result should be similar to this.

It is always a good idea when doing a picture wall to stick to a theme, in any interior design themes are important, my theme is obviously black frames, my style is very contemporary, so black angular frames with B&W pics are my favorite look. Heading to pinterest to gather a few ideas is always a good idea as well.

 Here are few ideas from other blogs I found on pinterest

Like this Modern chic from Tatertots and Jello

Here is more shabby chic from Lavender and Lemondrops

And a more traditional feel from Better Homes & Gardens

Planning is your friend, it has taken me a very long time to accumulate this many black frames, it won't happen overnight. Also location, location, location I would never have spent so much time and effort to do this in a back room, that would never be seen. Picture walls can be a huge task but I always feel rewarded when a new guest comes over and the first thing out of their mouth is, "Oh my gosh that's gorgeous!" "how did you do that", you know it just makes me feel all tingly inside :)

Until next time bitches!

The Stay at home Bitch

Let's make a Wood...Wall

Yep everybody is doing it, you know...installing a wood wall, like wood from a tree, why? what were you thinking?...Oooh you are naughty. Now that we are all on the same page, lets chat about wood. On pinterest you will see people calling this a "pallet wall" I didnt use any wood from pallets, so its just a wood wall. All the wood we used was from old fences, so it was all free, and the other materials you will need are:

• Hammer
• measuring tape
• table saw and/or circular saw
• 1.5" or 2" finishing nails
• paint

First if you are going to paint the adjoining walls do it before installing the wood, or you will need to tape off all the wood really carefully (such a pain in the ass) just do it before. Also another problem we ran into, was that if you are using weathered wood, which we were, it will NOT be straight, at all, so there will be gaps, we decided to paint a line of the navy blue paint between each line. Start from the TOP we did this because that's what I read to do, even though my hubby insisted on starting at the bottom I said shut it no sweetie, and after about 3 lines he realized it would have been way harder to fit the last line at the top. Anyway start at the top, and do a staggered pattern, we decided to do the wood wall on the only wall with a window for two reasons, one we would use less wood, and two the raw edges around the window makes it feel like it has always been there. This does take a few hours to complete because of all the measuring and cutting, but the finished product is beautiful!

We think it turned out pretty snazzy, my husband even admitted to thinking it's awesome!!

Keep Calm and Re-decorate the whole house

The Stay at home bitch

A {chocolate factory} birthday: Dessert Table

My oldest child Mr. Robert, insisted on having a Willy Wonka birthday party, I thought yay so much fun!, but that changed when I realized he had only ever watched the newer version with Johhny Depp and not the original (best) one with Gene Wilder. The new version is so lame and has no cool stuff, so I just went with the original version!! First I thought it would be fun to have some edible plants and suchlike in the movie, so I made these super simple by sticking flower and swirl lollipops into styrofoam balls covered in moss, and set on top of candle sticks. I loved how they looked and they were so quick and easy!

I also thought it would be super fun to have edible toadstools because that was one of my favorite parts of the movie, so I commissioned Fred Meyer, which is where I get some of my cakes made, to make me 3 cakes 2 that look like toadstools and one covered in sprinkles and gumballs! They do a really great job and are quite budget friendly.

We also had a chocolate fountain which was his only request, so I borrowed one from a friend, and it definitely made the party, everyone young and old loved the chocolate fountain! Just set up the chocolate fountain cut up all the different fruit and Viola!

Stay tuned for the rest of the party Next Week!

Until next time bitches,
The Stay at home Bitch

Homework {Station} : The Wall

For the longest time I have been wanting to take a wall in my house, and turn it into a sanctuary of learning for my boys. Slowly but surely I accumulated all of the different supplies then hubs and I got to work, and the result has been amazing, it looks just like my original drawing! The kids have been doing more drawing than homework at this point, but I'm confident that many a science project, and book report, will be screamed about at this very table!!

Here is how we did it!!

{The Wall}

 First and Foremost we had to have the wall make a statement! I had been imagining a chalkboard wall but not one you could actually draw on. So I drew up my plans (I do this for almost everything) I made this drawing from Construction paper :). Next I had to figure out what I would need to get this desired effect, I settled on flat finish black latex paint, regular chalk (or sidewalk chalk!) and a way to seal it all in, after realizing a roll on sealant would ruin the chalk art, we went with a spray.

Materials:

• {Flat} black paint - you only need a quart to do one wall! (mine was $8.35)
• Chalk (found mine at Value Village for .99!)
• Clear Polyurethane Spray Sealant Flat/Satin finish (2 cans @ 4.99ea)

Total: Time was 8 hours + drying time, Moola comes in just under $20!!

Step one:
Paint the wall black, if you need to tape off the edges do so, I invested in a really nice angled 2" brush and I will just go around and edge myself, I always do the edging first, and create a 2" wide edge so you can roll right up to it without getting super close to the adjoining wall/ceiling. Let this totally dry!

Step two:
Go chalk crazy!! I love different fonts, I have read many calligraphy books and experimented with different fonts my whole life, so I felt very comfortable grabbing a piece of chalk and going to town. I freehand drew, and wrote, all over the wall, remember you can wipe the chalk off if you mess up, so don't worry. I would also recommend trying out different fonts with a pencil on some paper beforehand. After you write on the wall make sure to blow off excess chalk, and draw over it again, plus you will want to leave this up for 24 hours before sealing it, then go back and blow off any and all excess chalk.

Step three:
Spray the wall with Sealant!
Open all the doors and windows in the house, get everybody out, and turn on the fan, because this stuff is stinky! I had my husband do this step and took the kids out of the house, we came back after 4 hours it was still a little stinky, but not too bad. He did one coat over the whole wall, one coat over just each word, and one more coat over the whole wall. That is it!!


Sincerely, 

Stay at Home Bitch